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If your date ever uses any of these lines, you know
its game over.
1. I have to floss my cat.
2. I've
dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with
my blender.
4. The President said he might drop in.
5. The
man on television told me to say tuned.
6. I've been scheduled for
a karma transplant.
7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage
cheese sculpture.
8. It's my parakeet's bowling night.
9.
It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I'm
building a pig from a kit.
11. I did my own thing and now I've got
to undo it.
12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13. There's a disturbance in the Force.
14. I'm doing
door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15. I have to go to the
post office to see if I'm still wanted.
16. I'm teaching my ferret
to yodel.
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy
products.
18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20. My
crayons all melted together.
21. I'm trying to see how long I can
go without saying yes.
22. I'm in training to be a household pest.
23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
24. My patent is
pending.
25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
26. I'm sandblasting my oven.
27. I'm worried about my
vertical hold.
28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns
rise.
29. I'm being deported.
30. The grunion are running.
31. I'll be looking for a parking space.
32. My Millard
Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33. The monsters haven't turned blue
yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34. I'm taking punk totem pole
carving.
35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
36. I'm
converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37. I've
come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38. I
made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39. My plot to take
over the world is thickening.
40. I have to fulfill my potential.
41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
42. It's too
close to the turn of the century.
43. I have some real hard words
to look up in the dictionary.
44. My subconscious says no.
45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46. I left my body in my other clothes.
47. The last time
I went out, I never came back.
48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga
meeting.
49. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
50. None of my socks match.
51. I have to be on the next
train to Bermuda.
52. I'm having all my plants neutered.
53. People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
55. I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My
Refrigerator."
56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest
sniffer.
57. My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58. I'm
touring China with a wok band.
59. My chocolate-appreciation class
meets that night.
60. I never go out on days that end in "Y."
61. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62.
I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil
Metabolism.
63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many
Lands" and I can't put it down.
64. I'm too old/young for that
stuff.
65. I have to ash/condition/perm/curl/tease my hair.
66. I have too much guilt.
67. There are important world
issues that need worrying about.
68. I have to draw "Cubby" for an
art scholarship.
69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with
others.
70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
71. I feel a song coming on.
72. I'm trying to be less
popular.
73. My bathroom tiles need grouting.
74. I have
to bleach my hare.
75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77. You
know how we psychos are.
78. My favorite commercial is on TV.
79. I have to study for a blood test.
80. I'm going to be
old someday.
81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.
82. I'm
observing National Apathy Week.
83. I have to rotate my crops.
84. My uncle escaped again.
85. I'm up to my elbows in
waxy buildup.
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity
bazaar.
87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
88. I have
to go to court for kitty littering.
89. I'm going to count the
bristles in my toothbrush.
90. I have to thaw some karate chops
for dinner.
91. Having fun gives me prickly heat.
92. I'm
going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
93. I have to jog my memory.
94. My palm reader advised
against it.
95. My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97. I prefer
to remain an enigma.
98. I think you want the OTHER [your name].
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100. I'm trying to
cut down.
101. My asthma is acting up again
102. That
would interfere with my time to wait for the government to take me away.
103. You're ugly, I'm busy, have a nice day
104. Its my
goldfish's birthday
105. Uh, I have stuff to do.
106. I
have to make an air sandwich
107. I have to hide the bodies.
108. I don't have time to go on a date...with YOU!
109. I
have to wash my hair.
110. I have to clean my toilet
111.
I need to spend quality time with my weed wacker
112. I need to
clean the air in my room
113. My hamster is having a heart
transplant and I need to stay for moral support.
114. I caught a
rare deadly African disease that's highly contagious.
115. My
gerbil is getting married.
116. I have plans to clean the cracks
in my floor
117. Sorry, when you came to my door I mistook you for
a mormon and took cover.
118. I had to rob your house
119.
That's the night I reorganize my rock collection.
120. Pinnochio
is on tonight
121. I have to try out for the ice skating team at
school.
122. I don't date outside my species
123. Sorry I
think I'm gay
124. I have to go...........over..............there.
125. My butt is to big in this dress
126. I have to take
out the trash
127. My dog had baby kittens.
128. I can't,
I need to take my computer apart and put it back together.
129. I
have to go shopping for my mother.
130. I'm sorry, I have to
rotate the strings on all of my shoes.
131. No
132. I told
my car I would tenderly rub wax into it's body
133. I have to go
for my full body wax appointment
134. I can't I was asked to go to
another party w/o you
135. I don't date goats!
136. Ally
Mcbeal is on
137. I'm reading with my widower
138. I have
to brush my teeth.
139. Alf comes on soon
140. I'm sick.
141. I've had a better offer, some bloke is coming round to set
fire to my head
142. I'm busy cleaning the blood off my axe
143. My dad said I can't date till I am married
144. I'm
shaving my dog.
145. It's against my religion to date people named
(insert relevant name)
146. My grandma is on fire.
147.
I'm getting married tonight.
148. I'm engaged.
149. I
don't want to ruin our friendship.
150. I have family in town.
151. I just washed my hair.
152. It's that time of the
month again.
153. My father's grandmother's aunt's mother died.
154. I have to take down the Christmas lights.
155. I have
to go to a surprise party for my grandma's birthday.
156. I left
my tolerance in another coat.
157. I just got back together with
my ex
158. I don't like people.
159. I have to alphabetize
my CDs. (Hey, is that supposed to be insulting to me? -- dan)
160.
I might see someone who knows me.
161. My brother's sister's mum's
son's dad died.
162. I would, but it would be a complete waste of
make-up.
163. My pet snake is constipated again.
164. I
have a phobia of people named (insert name here).
165. I have to
teach my pig to sing.
166. I just got sick (right after you asked
me out).
167. My dog is too tired.
168. I never said I'd
go out with you, that was my evil twin.
169. I would go out with
you but my waiting list is full.
170. There's a four hour TV
special on trimming shrubbery.
171. I'm washing the sofa.
172. I have to milk my cow.
173. Everquest.
174. I
don't want to miss Martha Stewart's premiere.
175. I have to teach
my frog how to croak.
176. I'm too busy watching the paint dry.
177. The "Rocky" marathon is on that night.
178. I
promised my mum I'd bathe the hamster.
179. I tripped over an ant
and broke my leg.
180. I need to clip my nose hairs.
181.
I have to read the labels on all of my food.
182. You are
extremely unattractive. Sorry, someone had to tell you.
183. I'm
gay.
184. I don't like you.
185. My goat broke a horn.
186. I have to go to the dentist.
187. I have to brush my
dog's teeth.
188. I must go in search of my charms which were
stolen by an angry leprechaun.
189. I'm going to the moon.
190. My water wings are flat.
191. I have to stay home and
give my goldfish a bath.
192. I'm going to be playing with my
mental blocks.
193. I have to wax the driveway.
194. I'm
not into dating right now.
195. I'm teaching my goldfish how to
play the electric guitar.
196. I'm teaching my dog to meow.
197. I have to watch Oprah.
198. I like you, but my
friends said I can't go out with you.
199. I like your best
friend.
200. I'm complicated to go out with.
201. I just
found out we're related.
202. On my list of things to do, seeing
you is at the bottom. |
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WARNING
Language & Content